Liebe & Anarchie
Jan Kosyk
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Vegan Butcher

Recently, the Vegan Butcher opened in Dresden Neustadt. From the very beginning, this is now under fire from concerned citizens and offices, because vegan flesh does not exist. Oh, really?


A Ehm, Jan

B Yes, Jan?

A You know the vegan butcher in Dresden?

B Ya.

A There’s been a lot of beef about them since they opened…

B Beef?

A Yes, because it’s called a butcher, even though no meat is sold there.

B So what?

A Well, that confuses people so much that they stand inside and buy aspic and then wonder at home why it tastes so different. And then they write threatening emails and feel good because they have defied this disaster.

B Yes, it’s very brave to send a hate text anonymously from afar. As if it wasn’t enough just not to go there anymore. The shop doesn’t need such morons, people are always queuing up there.

A But you also have to understand them. For example, there’s the court ruling that milk can only be called milk if it comes from an animal. Otherwise people will be confused again.

B Oh, you mean they think that almond milk is cow’s milk with almond flavour. It’s just good that scouring milk isn’t listed among the dairy products…

A Now you’re getting polemical again.

B And what about coconut milk? Is it now also called coconut drink?

A Don’t talk nonsense. People often ask why plants are prepared to look like sausage – you can also eat them unprocessed.

B So I understand you correctly that carnivores are allowed to process their foods into sausages, but vegetarians are supposed to nibble their vegetables raw.

A No, I’m really only concerned that it remains clear. The food authority also said that aspic shouldn’t be called aspic because there’s no flesh in it. Which brings me back to the beginning: vegan butcher is simply misleading.

B Because plants are not flesh.

A Exactly!

B What is the part of a fruit between the peel and the stone called?

A Uh, flesh?

B Exactly.


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Bunter Sommer Neustadt 16. Jun ʼ24 13:30 14:15 ics Wiesenbühne

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